who doesn’t know how to resolve issues without
involving third parties. We have been married for
about 3 years-no child yet
. My husband and I do
not stay in the same town-thanks to our jobs. He
visits monthly.
During his recent visit, my elder sister called me
around 11pm; my husband became very annoyed
and said he was going to talk to my sister for
calling me at odd hours. I warned him not to try
that. I should be available to my folks-whenever
they need me. I also reminded him that his people
call him whenever they like-he claimed that his
mother and brother (who call him often) are not
my sister’s mate.
While we were at this, he raised his voice at him
and I retaliated. My cousin (who lives with us)
intervened and begged me to apologize and I did.
On Sunday, my beautician visited. She was having
issues with her husband and needed to talk to
somebody. As soon as the woman came in, my
husband became aggressive; he kept coming to
call me (as I was talking with the lady) for stuffs
that could wait. He even told me that he was
hungry-yet it wasn’t long we ate. I still asked my
cousin to prepare jollof rice for him. She did and
my husband claimed that he couldn’t eat it because
she used onga spice. By this time, my friend had
left. I took the food and started eating-I didn’t want
the food to waste. He started saying he was not
aware that the lady and I were friends and I told
him that I couldn’t ask her not to come-when she
was in need of a listening ear. Before I knew it, my
husband started raising his voice at me, said I do
not take advice. My cousin rushed in and told him
that it’s not nice for him to be shouting at me in
the presence of our domestic assistant. He raised
his voice at me again and I told him to stop that,
he started coming towards me but my cousin took
the plate of food from my hand and led me away
from the scene. He told my cousin that he paid my
bride price and feeds me. I reminded him of the
100 naira bride price that my father collected from
him. This is a man that sometimes sends me 10K
in three weeks. I run the house with my money and
also maintain my car.
My cousin looked at me that evening and asked
what I am doing with such a man. He dressed up
and left the house (afterwards) and by the time he
came back, I had already slept because I drive a
far distance to work every day. The next day, I
asked what (food) I should prepare for him-he told
me that he was not hungry. Do you know that this
man left for his base by the following morning
without saying a word to me? I learned it was the
domestic assistant that opened the gate for him.
Initially, I refused to call him but Oby advised that I
reach out to him with apologies. I tried and he
refused to pick my call but I still apologized via
sms. His only response was that I should meet him
at my mother’s place next weekend. Parliament,
my husband is not ashamed but I am, he has done
this before…taking our matters to my mother and
revealing all before my younger siblings. I can’t
continue this way. Should I ignore this (latest)
invitation to my mothers’? Please advise. I am in
my mid 30s, he is in his early 40s and we are from
the South South’’
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