She needs your advise

‘’I met my first husband when I travelled to my
home town for holidays. He is an only child (while I
am an only girl-with three brothers).I really liked
him and we connected really well. He was living
with his mum and the mother and I connected well
initially. I was in my final year then but in no time, I
moved in with him (and his mum-who does
business)…after he paid my bride price. In no time,
things began to go awry between the mum and

myself. At tensed moments, she would remind me
that the house that my so called husband and I live
in was rented by her and the car that my husband
drives belonged to his late dad. Thus, our
relationship became extremely strained and I
started suggesting (to her son) that we find
alternative accommodation but he didn’t have the
funds. He came home one day and claimed that a
Telecoms company wanted to lease their land to
erect a Mast but he needed funds to package the
deal. Because the returns he promised was mouth
watering, I got my mother involved and she gave
him the loan…almost a million naira. In no time, I
discovered that I had become pregnant and things
kept worsening between the mum and me. Even the
deal with the Telecoms Company never
materialized and my mum was forced to ask for
her money back, even my brothers who were not
aware of the deal became aware. He began to pay
the money in piece meals-after it almost became a
police case-although he never denied collecting the
money-just that my mother thought it was going to
be a quick deal and pulled out the funds from her
business, it almost grounded her business.
While I was battling the early stages of my
pregnancy, I learned that he was getting married to
a lady in another town. The lady in question used
to be his ex and I understand she is economically
comfortable. When I recovered from the shock, I
relayed my story to an old but close family friend
(who resides in SA) and he promptly invited me
over (all expense paid) to come have my baby over
there and change environment. I was in SA for
about 6 months but when I came back home…my
demons began to stare me in the face again. I
needed to go back to school because my studies
got really derailed and I bagged an extra year in
school. Slowly (and with the help of my mum), I
began to piece my life together.
About two years later, I found my way to an Asian
country-with the help of another friend, who also
sponsored my post graduate studies over there. All
I wanted at this stage was to move on with my life
and settle down again. So, naturally we became
involved and had our wedding over there and sent
money for the traditional marriage rites to be
conducted on our behalf back home. The other
man had long collected the bride price he paid on
my head. My daughter was living with my mum and
brothers who were solely responsible for her
welfare.
My new husband behaves abnormally and when I
complain, he calls it ‘insult’. E.g., he bought
groundnut one night around 10- 11pm and was
forcing me to eat it. So, I began to study him more
and found out that he takes a certain drug that has
to do with the brain. Although I found out late. I
saw the bottle around him on several occasions in
Bangkok and I became curious, he wanted to beat
me. I noted the name the name (deparkine chrono
500mg) and googled the use. I discovered that it’s
a brain drug. I also saw plenty of it when we were
returning from Bangkok. I started asking questions
when we travelled to the village and learned that
he had an injury on the head when he was small,
the injury was not well treated and then it caused
him seizure. It’s even said to be one of his reasons
for travelling abroad. The after effect of that drug is
bipolar disorder. As soon as he found out that I
know his mental history, he decided to end the
marriage. I also realized that he was always
discussing me with his brother who would relay
everything to the wife and that one would tell me.
Even when my elder brother and mum sought to
talk things over with him, he became insulting
towards them. He has been asked to come take the
bride price he paid on my head this December.
Parliament, my dilemma now is that my first
husband is back in our lives. I had to contact him
to come start taking care of his daughter’s welfare.
He has been apologizing and doing the needful. He
is proposing to relocate my daughter and I to
another part of the country where he does
business. Meanwhile his wife and their two kids (a
boy and a girl) will remain where they currently
reside. I am just confused right now and I want you
to advise me. He has even come to see my mum
and brothers. He has also finished paying back my
mum her money. We are all from the South East. I
am 33 years old, my daughter is 6 years old’’




Source: Chukwuneta Obiageli 's Facebook Timeline